Respect

Talking with a friend today, I made a statement about respect. This in and of itself is not earth shattering, but the conversation that ensued afterward gave me great cause to reflect. The statement was, "Elders deserve our respect, not because of what they have done, but because of who they are...Elders." We discussed what this looks like. When an older family member dominates the conversation at dinner, telling the same stories they have told 100 times before, how do we react. We may feel frustrated or bored, but our feelings should not dictate our behavior. The years that the dinner guest has spent on this earth are all that is needed to earn him/her the right to retell the same stories. As parents and grandparents grow older, their memory fails. Are we quick to point out that failure or do we step in and take care of what needs to be done or said so that their dignity remains intact?

As my friend and I discussed these things, we made note of how this generation has no patience with the elderly. This generation seems to be bothered with the time is takes to deal with the aging...even their own parents. I have a thought here...I don’t think the behavior has been properly modeled for children. With so many families living spread out all over the U.S., there are very few multigenerational situations anymore. There are no more Sunday meals with the grandparents, or kids going over to cut grandmas lawn when grandpa can no longer do it. Think of what we can glean from sitting with someone who was alive during the depression, WWI or WWII. This firsthand knowledge is worth so much more than what is found in history texts. We need to show our children the value of slowing down and giving the elderly the respect they deserve. If you doubt this, remember you are aging. If our children are to learn how to treat us when we are elderly, we need to model that behavior when they are young.