Choosing to Change Their Path

There is an old but wise saying that says, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." We have heard this a million times, but have we taken the time to explain it to our kids?

I had the opportunity today to go through this statement with one of my children. This particular child was struggling with receiving correction for an issue that we seem to revisit again and again. "I know I can do better." "I know I can make wiser decisions." "I just need to spend more time with God." These were the statements that followed from our child. They were earnest, sincere and the only answers the child had.

I realized as my husband and I sat and discussed this, rather minor but reoccuring issue, with our child that, "the path to hell is paved with good intentions." (another useful saying) Then it hit me...THE PATH. I thought back to the "always do/always done" saying and realized, our child desires a new destination yet the same path is chosen day after day. It is critical that we teach our children to look ahead at the destination they desire and help them articulate where they want to go and where they are currently headed. Once they are clear about where they are aiming, they need to choose the path that will take them there. I need to add that this destination needs to be theirs...not ours. Clearly parents and children need to work together, but know that if a parent dictates the destination the child should strive for, it is likely the child will aim for the destination farthest from it.

Our child realized the internal struggle that was going on. There was a deep desire to reach a new destination, but the current path was comfortable, easy and safe. Now it was time for growth...time for maturing. I explained that there was no way to pick up a path and move it toward a new destination. Nor could we move a destination and put it at the end of a path. We needed to make the hard choices and move to the path that would take us where we need to go.