Discipleship

"How do I do relational discipleship with people who are living their sin out in front of my children?" This was a question I was asked today. The questioner went on to explain that if we are to be reaching a lost world, how do we do that without sacrificing the innocence of our children.

Here are some thoughts I shared...

As parents, our primary mission field is our children. By intentionally discipling our children, we are affecting future generations to come. Now please let me clarify "intentionally discipling". This is not a pass from doing any work. Think of what it would take to lead a discipleship group of adults; prayer, preparation, practically living out your journey, etc. This is exactly the intentionality that you should have with your children.

With that said, there is no reason that you can not invest in others outside the home, UNLESS your investment in others interferes with your investment in your family. This can happen when you are reaching out to a lost friend or coming alongside a church member.

Should we reach out to others who are living an overtly sinful life...Should we come along side them, living out the gospel? Yes, but within parameters. Remember that Jesus never compromised truth when calling people to Himself. Your children are your main mission field. Keep them protected from the sinful lifestyle until they are old enough to be grounded in what is biblically right and wrong. I am not saying to protect your child from the world around them, but I am suggesting that at a young age, your child does not have the ability to separate the person and the sin. They are not yet able to love the person, while at the same time, hating the sin. This time will come and they will be prepared and they will love well and disciple well.

We need to be careful to protect our time with our kids, showing them that investing in them is the most valuable investment we can make. A very wise women once said to me that her adult son would no longer come to church. When she asked him why, he explained to her that church was the place that always took his mommy away from him as a child. She had spent her life giving herself to others, but unfortunately she was not giving herself to the primary job God had given her.

The bottom line is that we are spouses first, parents second and friends after that. Remember your primary mission field and invest in it well. You will impact many generations.

Respect

Talking with a friend today, I made a statement about respect. This in and of itself is not earth shattering, but the conversation that ensued afterward gave me great cause to reflect. The statement was, "Elders deserve our respect, not because of what they have done, but because of who they are...Elders." We discussed what this looks like. When an older family member dominates the conversation at dinner, telling the same stories they have told 100 times before, how do we react. We may feel frustrated or bored, but our feelings should not dictate our behavior. The years that the dinner guest has spent on this earth are all that is needed to earn him/her the right to retell the same stories. As parents and grandparents grow older, their memory fails. Are we quick to point out that failure or do we step in and take care of what needs to be done or said so that their dignity remains intact?

As my friend and I discussed these things, we made note of how this generation has no patience with the elderly. This generation seems to be bothered with the time is takes to deal with the aging...even their own parents. I have a thought here...I don’t think the behavior has been properly modeled for children. With so many families living spread out all over the U.S., there are very few multigenerational situations anymore. There are no more Sunday meals with the grandparents, or kids going over to cut grandmas lawn when grandpa can no longer do it. Think of what we can glean from sitting with someone who was alive during the depression, WWI or WWII. This firsthand knowledge is worth so much more than what is found in history texts. We need to show our children the value of slowing down and giving the elderly the respect they deserve. If you doubt this, remember you are aging. If our children are to learn how to treat us when we are elderly, we need to model that behavior when they are young.